I'm still processing the fact that I will have a major knee surgery and be totally dependant on others for a few months. To be quit honest, it really sucks!!! But....I've had my pity party and I'm moving forward.
In the midst of my pity party, I wasn't sure this was really what the Lord wanted me to do right now. So I said, "God, let me know this surgery is your plan." I was so unsure. Well, he let me know. Since I prayed that prayer, my knee has bothered me more on a daily basis than it ever has, and I haven't even exercised in days. Well, I'm certain I have my answer. But I still have questions.
I know the Lord is using and will use this time to bring me closer to him. Cause he knows I'll be all laid up with nothing to do but draw closer to him and seek his will for myself and my family. You see, things just aren't that great right now. I feel so disconnected from my husband and I know he feels the same about me. I know things will be okay, because I have faith in God's awesome plan for us. I love my husband of course he loves me, but sometimes we let the craziness of life get in the way and we start being so self centered. ( Now, those of you that read this....just chill... this is a season and the Lord is in it, so don't be letting your crazy minds run away with you. My marriage is okay). I'll probably regret the afore mentioned concern, but this is my blog and I want to be real. I don't want to give the impression that life is always just peachy. Cause we all know it isn't!
I also wonder what the Lord is doing in this ol head and heart of mine when it comes to my self image. What a life long issue this is and continues to be. For the first time in my life I've gotten my weight under control and I'm feeling great about myself, and BAM no more running for a year, and no exercise for at least 3 months! WHAT????? While I know he wants me to take care of myself, I just don't get it......or do I? When I first started this running thing I felt so close in my walk with him, but as time went on I was relying on myself and not giving God the credit for my success.
My prayer is that I will grow in Christ during this season of my life.
I'll leave you with these........
