Do I really need to confess to what few readers I have? Sure, I don't, but I think I need to for me. It helps to "write" it down. Now on to the confession, I am having trouble trusting God. ( Sorry to those of you who thought you might be getting a real scoop :)
I still believe that the Lord has put me here in this place with purpose. But I'm having trouble trusting that its gonna work out. The anxiety and pain that has come along with my knee surgery is quite overwhelming.
Before this I never really thought about the actually steps I take and how easily I could get from one place to another. Or how effortless it was to bend my knees. Now as I'm working through all this, every single step is contemplated and every bend of my knee is painful yet calculated. My how we don't realize that we take things for granted. I see folks in wheel chairs and I just can't stand it. I don't know wether to feel sorry for them or blessed that I will get back to normal.
I'm tired of asking for help. I'm sick of needing help!!!
wha wha wha!!
My new Bible study starts Thursday and I'm really looking forward to it. I've felt so lost without it. And I can't wait to get to Mass on Sunday. It will be my first since surgery.
2 years ago
2 comments:
Confession makes me feel better. I'm not a priest so I won't make you say your 10 Hail Mary's and 12 Our Father's...only be a friend and listen.
I have a bunch of cliche things to say like...this too shall pass or everything happens for a reason...God doesn't give you more than you can handle, etc. etc. that tends to just make me mad sometimes so I won't go there.
Just know that you have a wonderful family and great friends (even some you've never met) that are here for you to let you vent, cheer you on or put you in your place. Whatever measure is necessary! :)
Good Luck and I'll continue my prayers for your speedy recovery, et al.
now, who of us hasn't felt this way?!?!?! we all have our "knee injuries" that cause us to doubt and stress and struggle.....i totally get why you are restless.....
all i can say is don't be sick of needing help.....how many hundreds of hours have you helped and how many THOUSANDS will you help in the future....your kids, your husband, etc.....let others help you for a change and instead of seeing it as helplessness, see it as a time that God is drawing you to himself and showing you his power to help you....through others.....
he is tender in mercies and abounding in love....
hang in there....
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